Harry Potter Goes American

What if the beloved Harry Potter series were to hop across the pond to the good ole U S of A? Well for starters characters wouldn't go around "snogging" each other and Ronald Weasley wouldn't say "blimey" every time he was surprised. The movie itself would probably draw a huge amount of hype around it, be ridiculed by Potter fans worldwide then flop at the box-office giving everyone in the world another reason to hate America. But for a fun let's pretend like it would be the most ingenious idea ever and come up with a probable cast. Here are my thoughts on who loved play J.K Rowling's characters in an Americanized version of the HP and the Sorcerer's Stone.

Harry Potter (UK): Daniel Radcliffe
Danny boy has to be the perfect Harry Potter out there, in fact I'm sure 6% of his fans don't even know his real name. They just call him Harry because it is so fitting. Poor Harry, got to feel bad for that dude. Except for all his money and fame. Never mind if I was Harry, I'd just play Harry for the rest of my life. Except in the American version of the films. NOT ALLOWED! Sorry Harry. Shoot I've been doing it myself. Sorry Daniel. (Just doesn't sound right, does it?)

Harry Potter (US): Joel Courtney
Is this not the cutest 15 year old boy on the planet? If you haven't seen him in Super 8 yet you should. He completely nailed his first major acting role. Which is one reason why he is my Harry. Daniel was pretty much a newbie when he was cast as "the boy who lived" so why not young joel? May have to trim his Beiber bangs a bit so we can see the signature lightning scar but this kid is going to rack up in the box office someday. If not for his acting, then for his cuteness. Seriously go see Super 8. Just adorable.

Ronald Weasley (UK): Rupert Grint
I wish Rupert Grint was American so I could claim his as one of my fellow country-mates and so he could be in my pretend American Movie. This guy makes Ron the best character in the movies. His facial expressions and squeaky voice as he delivers his lines. Gotta Love him. "Follow the spiders, why couldn't it be follow the butt-a-flies" Awwww Ronald. Rupert fans, he has a bunch of projects he's working on. Not sure if any of them are big films but who cares. PS also check out him out in Wild Target with Emily Blunt (Devil Wears Prada).

Ronald Weasley (US): Grayson Russell
Since I have to replace Ron somehow, I guess I can do it with this kid. Best movie he's been in: Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. He plays Texas Ranger Bobby, the loudmouth-cussing-brat turned angel by Jane Lynch. Why Ron? I don't know. He has red hair, that's about it. Also, the best parts of Talladega Nights were the scenes with him in it. Show-stealer, just like Rupe! "ANARCHY! ANARCHY!
I don't know what that means, but I LOVE it"

Hermione Granger (UK): Emma Watson
Everyone's favorite half-blood, Hermione Granger. Emma Watson chopped her hair off after her Hermione days so even if I wanted to pretend she was American (since she came her for college) and put her in my blog, I don't think I could anymore. 







Hermione Granger (US): Chloe Moretz
 I had no idea who to cast for Hermione. So this works right? It will be a bit of a role change from Hit Girl in Kick-Ass but she looks like Hermione, maybe. Slap some big teeth on her like the character is suppose to poof her hair out like she's been tased and we'll call it good. Plus she's already got the pretty Hermione (book 5 and beyond) down. Pretty sure she is some kind of young tween model or something.




Rubeus Hagrid (UK):Robert Coltrane
The only giant I love more than Hagrid is his little brother Grawp and well I guess Wille the Giant. No idea what else this guy is in other than Hagrid. I'm sure he is a well respected English actor but all he needs is Hagrid for the rest of his life. Although I doubt he gets recognized as Hagrid on the street very often since he usually looks like this. Gotta say I dig the beard. It's like Brian Wilson's on acid! (the Brian Wilson link let's you play with his virtual beard)

Rubeus Hagrid (US): Nakia Reynoso
Most people would have said that Jorge Garcia should be the American Hagrid, but that is just a little too obvious. I mean come on the hair and makeup artists need something to do. Nakia was recently on NBC's The Voice where he rocked out every week. I think he would bring some bite to the big cuddly exotic-creature-loving giant. You can get his songs from The Voice on Itunes if you'd like.

Neville Longbottom (UK): Matthew Lewis
Everybody loves Neville. With the surname Longbottom you'd think the poor chap would be scarred for life, but nope turns out studly and kicks wizard butt. Still kinda awkward looking, and has a pet toad so better cast someone similar. 







Neville Longbottom (US): Zach Mills
Which leads me to Zach Mills, he was also in Super 8 with everyones favorite 15 yr old Joel Courtney. I am actually surprised if you have made it this far and not gone to see Super 8 with Joel Courtney. Anywho, Zach. He kinda has rather large ears, looks Neville-ish and looks like he would get A's in Herbology so congrats to you Zach. You are now American Neville.





Draco Malfoy (UK): Tom Felton
Tom Felton is awesome, that is all there is too it. He played bratty Draco: awesome. He played B.A. Draco: awesome. He played conflicted Draco: awesome. He played pathetic and torn Draco: awesome. Also he is going to be in the new Planet of the Apes movie which comes out in August! Very excited about that one. But even if he is awesome in that one, he will always be Draco Malfoy. 




Draco Malfoy (US): Justin Beiber
No no no I did not make this pic because I have caught the fever. I can assure you I have not. However, if this movie wants a chance at making money, this is it's best bet. Beiber fans will flock to the theaters like Dudley to cake (oh now she didn't)! Plus j-Beibs has got one aspect of Draco down: the squeaky voice (oh no she didn't agaaain)! ♫ Harry Harry Harry oooh Harry Harry Harry Noooo Harry Harry Harry ooooh please don't take my wand yeaaah. ♫

Seamus Finnigan (UK): Devon Murray
Devon never really gets his big moment on screen, but he is such a cutie annnnd that accent it makes all his blunders even better so I figured I better add the character to my cast list.




Seamus Finnigan (US): Atticus Shaffer
Only watched bits of his show The Middle, but he is pretty funny and cute like a jelly bean or a small hamster.So he gets to be my Seamus. And even though this is the American version of HP I may just make him attempt an scottish accent anyways.







Professor Quirinus Quirrel (UK): Ian Hart
First of all did anyone know his name was Quirinus? I sure did not. He needs to be cast considering he's the villain in this first movie. No idea who Ian Hart is other than professor Quirrel, if he was smart he would've auditioned for another part, maybe someone who wasn't killed in the first book but I guess something is better than nothing eh Ian? Well you stuttered beautifully and then got creepy pretty fast. PS the first time I saw the movie, I hadn't read the book and you totally had me convinced that you were NOT the bad dude. Props.

Professor Quirinus Quirrel (US): Stanley Tucci
Stanley Tucci is awesome. If I ever met the guy, I'm sure I would like him even more. He's perfect for this role for one, because he's bald. The purple turban will set nicely on his head. Plus he is the good guy that everyone loves, no way he would be mistaken by 3 first years as the evil dude with the dark lord on the back of his head. Oh and speaking of the back of Quirrel's head, I have also cast that: Stanley Tucci a la The Lovely Bones. You see that? Creepiest thing ever. I wouldn't want to mess with that.


Professor Minerva McGonagell (UK): Maggie Smith
Best Teacher Ever. Riiiight Riiiight? ya she is and Maggie Smith has been around for ever. no offense Maggie but I thought you were old in Sister Act and 20 years later you're still around and puttin' dark wizards to shame. Go you.


Professor Minerva McGonagell (US): Julia Roberts
Ok yes she's a little younger but see I always thought that McGonagell and Dumbledore were going to get together. Turns out, according to Rowling, he was gay. So in the American version we need a hotter Minerva and BAM! Albus is in love. Why should Ron and Hermione get all the awkward flirting scenes?






Professor Albus Dumbledore (UK): Richard Harris
Only Dumbledore for two films, but you can't get much more Dumbledore than this man. Plus how awesome is that beard. I think this one even beats Brian Wilson's. I don't really remember but I think the character was suppose to have half-moon spectacles. In America, we shall get that done right.

Professor Albus Dumbledore (US): Morgan Freeman
A black Dumbledore? yes that would be correct. Some may say "that's crazy, there would never be a black Dumbledore." Well naysayers also said that about our President. Lawyered. This is America people! Morgan Freeman played God, so why not Dumbledore. Check out the photo, he's even starting to look a little like the great wizard.



Professor Severus Snape (UK): Alan Rickman
Best. Snape. Evvvvva. You can't beat this guy. That's all I shall write. (also love him in Galaxy Quest)








Professor Severus Snape (US): Billy Zane
Billy Zane. Jerk in Titanic. Tool in The Roomate. Cool Dude in Zoolander. The exact cycle of Snape, well kind of. Slap a wig on that bald head of his and he's Snape. I'm afraid of him but at the same time I can't stop liking the dude.

I understand I left out a handful of characters that were in the movie and probably a truckload that were in the book. So any other suggestions are welcome. I can see it now, the movie would be the "Friday" of theater. We've taken many a things from the Brits: "American" Idol, The Office, our nation. So maybe we can just let them keep Harry Potter. Go America!